Ruminations

I used to put this kind of post in the main blog but the main blog seems to be gravitating toward very instructional or informative topics and away from the uncertain or exploratory type of posts.

I’ve been idly wondering lately why how I’m running at poker affects my everyday confidence and perspective and attitude. When I’m running well I feel more confident and happier, and the opposite when I’m not running well.

Today on the final leg into work via transit I realized that poker is the only challenging/developmental thing that’s going on in my life these days. Work is not challenging and not really going anywhere new, my personal life is pretty stable, my other interests and hobbies I’ve been involved with for so long that there’s little change or development going on there so that just leaves poker.

Seen in that context it makes sense that so much spare cycle time (as they used to refer to underutilized network servers) gets allocated to poker, and why how poker things are going tends to affect me so much. It’s not necessarily that the other things are not important but just that they are stable and don’t provide a lot of entertainment as things to think about.

It’d be different were I in my 20’s and still finding my way in the world, but that’s not the case anymore.

That’s not the best situation, either for things in general or even for my poker playing specifically because it could put undue pressure on poker to be successful. On the other hand, maybe that kind of pressure is good for my poker to move things forward, though at the same time it may strain the rest of my days when things aren’t running well. So, I talk myself in a circle, but hopefully with a little added perspective on things.