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A personal note

April 9, 2008

I said I wasn’t planning to have any personal information in this blog. I’ve gone out of my way to anonymize things, and only posted personal things that applied somehow to poker.

But still it’s my blog, and I want to take a moment to note something of a personal only nature.

Two nights ago I found out that my uncle committed suicide, presumably over the weekend. I think he was around 70, with two grown kids (my cousins) living in other cities. His wife, my mother’s sister, died of breast cancer some 13, 14 years ago and he had taken early retirement to spend his time with her during her last year or so. I wasn’t able to get to visit her before she passed away, but I did go back to my (and her) hometown when they came up to spread her ashes.

The suspicion is that he had some physical ailment that he chose not to live with but I don’t know that for sure. He left notes for his kids, went to his workshop/shed, and shot himself.

My parents were close with them when I was young but they moved from a 8 hour drive away to a 3 day drive away and I saw them only a couple times after that. I made my first trip to visit my uncle some 6 years ago, where he was living alone in the house, living only in the downstairs as a basement suite and using the rest of the house only when he had guests. He had a girlfriend at the time, but in spite of that he seemed a bit lonely. The preserved state of the upstairs, while practical, almost seemed a preservation of the happier days before my aunt died and his kids were still at home.

Anyway, suicide indicates some great pain, physical and/or emotional, for which I am sad, as well as being sad for my cousins. Even though I was not close to him I find myself wishing I would have known and said, no, come live with us, be part of our family.

~

If you or someone you know is experiencing this kind of physical and/or emotional pain, please talk to someone.

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